Her vagina should come with caution tape.
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
Text me some of your sweat
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
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