half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
