You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Randomize
