i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
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