WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Randomize