is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize
