im drinking this country out of the recession.
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
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dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
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I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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