I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Randomize
