He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Randomize
