Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
