the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
tell me about the fingering
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
