I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
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