My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Randomize
