the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
29 Times Beach Sex Ended With Sand In All The Wrong Places
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.