ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
25 People Confess Their Terrifying Stalker Stories
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
27 Times The Kardashian-Jenner Clan Absolutely Slayed at NYFW
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad