I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
Do vagina's smell?
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
