Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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