I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.