Ambien. No doubt about it.
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
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