Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life