Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
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