On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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