My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
Drunk is not a location!
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
