I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
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