My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
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