You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
I don't deserve a penis
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
I have aggressive nipples.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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