I'm so fucking centered right now
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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