Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
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