I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
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