Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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