We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
