Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
Randomize
