Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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