If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
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