I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
