She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
