I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
