just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
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