We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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