Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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