Porn is love you can see.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Randomize
