he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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