I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
