I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Randomize
