That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Randomize
