No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
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