i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Randomize
