Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Randomize
