Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Randomize
