North Korea, Best Korea!
I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Randomize
