shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
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