im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
