Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
Randomize