Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
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