You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
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