He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
