Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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