Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Randomize
