I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
Randomize
