Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
