Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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