My brain says no but my pants say off.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Randomize
