oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
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