Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
