Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
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