ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
Randomize
