apparently the secret to your success is patron
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Randomize
