Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
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