I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
I just spread your mom's ashes with my new girlfriend. I wouldve waited for you to fly home but she was uncomfortable in the house with her remains there. I'll mail you the urn since u handpainted it.
YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND ALREADY!?! WTF WE JUST HAD HER FUNERAL 3 WEEKS AGO!!!!!!!!!!!!
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Randomize