ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Randomize
