I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
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