I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
