OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
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Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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