too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
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hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
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