sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Randomize
